Our Beauty Pudding (one of her many many nicknames) is turning one on Friday. One year. 365 days of her cuddles, her lustrous black hair, slightly fewer of her contagious cheeky smile. One year of the huge love that is the love of Abigail in our lives. Where did the time go?
This time last year I was wondering (patiently, I might add) when I would ‘feel something’, savouring the last days of crafting and organising unhindered and knowing that life was on the cusp of changing unimaginably and irretrievably. What I couldn’t have known is just how much more love it would contain alongside the mess and stress and the sleep deprivation that comes with new parenthood. You know you will love your baby before it is born, but you can’t imagine the depth of your love once you meet and fall in love with that person.
I am amazed by the changes in our girl that one year has seen. I remember when our eyes first met as she was put on my chest after my c-section. She looked straight at me very calmly – no tears – with her dark round eyes. I looked at her. I knew we would love each other forever. The post natal ward was packed to the brim, with bins loudly shutting and trolleys being wheeled along all hours of the night. I held Abigail all night whilst we were there almost as though to protect her from the world, to keep her close to me, so much so that the nurses told me off! I wanted to shelter her and that bond which we began to forge has only deepened with time.
Today Abigail is a beautiful, loving, nearly one-year-old. She comes up to us for cuddles and is even affectionate with her cuddly toys. She has the longest darkest eyelashes you could ever imagine. She is a beauty, inside and out. But she is also mischevious, she has that glint in her eye, she is fiercely independent, wanting to do things by herself, eat by herself, pick something up or reach for something by herself. She knows her mind already, and we are already seeing signs of tantrums when she doesn’t get her way or when she is frustrated at her inability to do something!
Our girl has a real sense of humour already, challenging us to stop her from pulling at that wire she knows she’s not allowed to touch by grinning and placing her hand a centimetre away from it, threatening to touch it, waiting to see what we will do, encouraging us to chase her as she crawls across the floor, erupting in fits of laughter as we catch and tickle her, playing peekaboo with us and waiting to reveal her face behind the object she is holding up to obscure it. She imitates us, almost in jest. She talks to us and responds to the tones of our voices. She fake-coughs. She tries to ‘sing’ along with us when we sing her songs and she bops her body up and down to dance! Her humour and intelligence delight us daily. We are under no illusions that very soon it will challenge and outsmart us in a host of different ways, too!
Most importantly, Abigail is a happy girl. She is always smiling and laughing and she hardly ever cries. I hope she knows the strength of our love for her. I hope she retains her joie de vivre.
We feel so lucky to have been blessed with such a delightful, precious daughter, and whilst I sometimes wish time would stand still, or at least go more slowly, so that I could savour all her pudgy deliciousness right now, we can’t wait to see her grow and develop, to reach milestones, walk, talk ask us questions etc. I am so excited to be her mummy, to teach her things and cook with her and nurture her to be the special person she is destined to grow into. I am beyond blessed to have the privilege of being her mama. Sometimes when she cries at night I pick her up and hold her and think about how lucky I am to be the one who can soothe her and make everything ok for her. I wish I could do that forever. I cherish this time where she is still mine to love and protect exclusively (with her daddy and our family of course).
On Sunday we are having a little party to celebrate our girl. Just a few friends with babies. The lady who runs Abigail’s favourite baby group is coming to sing songs and I know Abigail will LOVE it. I can’t wait and will post about it afterwards.
Happy birthday sweet love! Keep growing strong and healthy and being the curious, intelligent, loving, delightful girl you are. You are SUCH a treasure and we love you more than words can say!